It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged and today I had to catch up.
Unfortunately, my catch up posts start with a trip I never wanted to have to take.
My best friend’s mother sadly passed away from the ugly disease of cancer. A word I just hate, it made my world collapse almost 20 years ago, and this year it collapsed hers.
I wish I was really good at words and could pay an amazing tribute to Mary, but I’m not, so instead it’s words from my heart all mashed together.
I met Mary so many years ago, maybe 17 years. She was so full of life, so fun, so thoughtful. My earliest memory of her was a thanksgiving one year. My brother and I didn’t have anywhere to go from college so she invited us. I remember eating and playing games with their family. She was so sweet to involve me.
My most recent memory was in March, we went for a visit to see her and help Staci if we could. We knew Mary’s time on earth was limited and I really wanted to see her, hear her voice and hold her hand because she had touched my world in a way no one ever had. When we arrived, she hugged me with her frail arms and said “I knew you would come for Staci.”
A few years ago my brothers marriage to Staci ended. It wasn’t a good end, in fact it was a tough one. I knew I wanted my relationship with Staci and Jack to endure this entire life of mine and it was at that point even though Staci stopped being my sister in law she became my best friend. I didn’t know how Staci’s family would be, but I’m not really sure why I ever questioned it.
They had loved and accepted my family as their own and our first visit after the divorce was no different. I remember hugging Mary and apologizing and she said to me “Babe you have nothing to apologize for, we love you and we always will.” Her love was a true love, unselfish, so Christ-like, so amazing. She was like a second mother to me. She taught me to make kombucha, I still have her scoby, a piece of her I can’t let go. She gave me my first taste of kale, she wouldn’t tolerate my nonsense of I don’t eat kale, she made me do it. She made me bread pudding that I just knew I wouldn’t like and now only a few months after she has left us I find myself wanting it…fresh and a little warm straight from her oven. I have so many memories of her, too many to even name but she loved me, my husband, my children and it was a highlight for all of us to visit “Jack’s Nana”
In July we made our final visit to Mary. We attended her visitation, her funeral, her gravesite. We laughed, we cried, we remembered all we could. And my family did what we do best, we worked together, we helped each other and we comforted each other. Whether we were putting up storm doors, getting hair cuts, unpacking pictures, picking out funeral outfits, we did it together for a women we loved so so much.
Her visitation was beautiful, seeing the many people who loved her, come to see her family was such a testimony to her life. One couple was a neighbor when they lived in Louisiana so many years ago who traveled the many miles to be there. That was a testimony of Mary’s reach upon so many people. At the visitation, Staci’s dad and brother also included me in many introductions and introduced me to so many people that I felt like family.
The following day was her service, it was a vary hard day for all of us. Alan had the privilege to play her funeral and even though it seems odd, it was his honor. He made sure to do his best, he practiced, he wanted it all to be perfect, because like me, Mary also meant the world to him.
Her gravesite was at a military cemetery, it was a short, beautiful ceremony. Her earthly body is laid here, but she is not there, she is with Christ in the glorious beauty of Heaven. Cancer no longer grips her body, no longer pains her, no longer has any control. My heart breaks even today as I write this thinking she isn’t merely 4 states away and at any moment I can hop in the car to go visit. I know however because of the promises in God’s Word that one day I will see her again. Until then, I will do my best to always be there for Staci, to always be there for Jack.
Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11
We met at IHOP and then had a great day!
We spent one day with them, we played, took a hike, went to Yogurt Story, and Taco Casa all our favorites!